I have observed leaders leaving too soon, cutting short their tenure, because of discouragement, criticism, boredom or the desire to build their resume. I have also seen other leaders hold on to their positions long after they had ceased adding any tangible value to the organisation, anchored by hubris, fear, lack of imagination or because they were trapped vocationally.

As a comedian, timing is everything. Jump too soon, and you harm the organisation’s chance for momentum, refuse to go at all, and you and the organisation will risk stagnation and irrelevance.

So, how do you know when your season is over?

Unless the board sacks you, there will be no blinding light, no Damascus road experience, no blinding moment of revelation, but there will be signs if you stop, look, and listen. You will slowly and surely notice the seasons are changing.

Here are some clues it might be time to go.

When the ship is ship shape

It might be a good time to leave when you have the right people in the right places, processes, and profitability.

 When the key metrics are looking great and the future is looking fantastic.

Your culture is healthy and humming.

You have developed leadership throughout the organisation, and talent is everywhere.

But do you want to leave when it’s this good?

Possibly.

Perhaps you have a sense of completion, of discharging what was in your imagination, and although it would be nice to stay, you know your work is complete.

Perhaps you recognise yourself as a leader who likes the hard hidden work, turning things around, and cleaning up messes. Now the organisation is in good health, and you recognise you don’t have the passion or desire to maintain and tweak, doing the pretty stuff, so off you go looking for another mess to clean up.

When the ship is sinking

The organisation has sprung leaks, too many to plug, and the boat is sinking fast.

Your culture stinks, your metrics are horrible, and morale is low.

No matter what you do, things have not improved under your watch, and if you are brutally honest, there is no clear evidence that things will improve.

Your shipmates love the ship, they might try and tell you things will improve, that it will get better, but hope is for the religious; you need more than hope, you need evidence, and the evidence is clear, this ship is sinking, and no one and nothing can rescue it.

Start the band playing, now jump in the life raft and save yourself.

When the role is making your life a misery

Organisations like religions love devotees and demand constant sacrifices.

Your health is suffering, your kids don’t see you, and your partner merely tolerates you.

You wake up with a sense of dread each morning, and you come home tapped out and frustrated.

You can’t remember the last time you did something that filled you and refreshed you.

You have put on weight, sleep terrible and have almost no margin in your life.

In the rare moments of self-reflection, you don’t like who you are becoming.

Time to break off those ropes and step down from the sacrificial altar.

As you leave the building, take note of the eager new sacrifice taking your place on the altar.

Thank whatever gods, for your lucky escape.

When there is misalignment

Yes, I know your job is to help the organisation be aligned, but sometimes it’s you. You are the one in the wrong place.

And no matter how much you want the organisation aligned to what is in your heart, it never will be.

This sense is something you feel deep in your core, not something tangible or measurable.

And in this moment of understanding, you best be honest with yourself, pony on up, and find somewhere else where your values, skills, talents, strengths, and passions align.

When you have a growing desire to express the unfulfilled

Here, the keyword is ‘growing’; it isn’t a fleeting thought, a wish. It’s an inner voice that is haunting you or nagging you. It is wanting your attention and, ultimately, your action.

Perhaps it’s a complete sea change, a career change, further study, a new business venture, a year of travel, writing a book, or charity work.

When the love has gone

Work, like a relationship, is a miserable place to be when the love has gone. Sure, you can grit your teeth and stick it out, but is that really what you want?

Dare to stand down if you have tried to rekindle the passion and still do not feel it.

Your work deserves to be loved, and if you don’t love it, it will suffer, and so will you.

Don’t leave

When you have suffered a major disappointment

Give yourself time to process it, lick your wounds and get back into the arena.

When you have failed

Feel it, face it and learn from it. Do not let it define you. Leave with a win, no matter how small, if you can.

When you are tired

General George S. Patton said,

“Fatigue makes cowards of us all.”

Have no doubt; business is war. It’s exhausting, complex, and at times bloody.

Take your allocated leave, extended leave or have a sabbatical. Travel, sleep in, walk the beach, study, connect with the people you love and the things you love to do, refuel, reimagine, and recalibrate. Do whatever you have to do to rest, and then, once rested, make your decision.

When you are bored 

It may be an invitation to reimagine rather than leave.

It might be simply you have got too comfortable, and started to stagnate, and it is time to stretch yourself again.

Could it be an invitation for new learning?

What could you do within your current role, adding value to the organisation and a fresh challenge?

Knowing when to leave and how to leave is no easy decision and should be processed soberly and prudently.

It is best to decide without haste and not in isolation.

G.M. Brock

Just Leadership Ltd copyright © 2022

The post When to Quit: A five-minute primer for leaders appeared first on Just Leadership.

 A popular idea that has emerged in recent times has been the idea of the first 100 days.

The first hundred days has become a measuring stick for how successful a President would be. We know that it is not just how well a leader starts in their new role that matters but what they do through their tenure. But the first 100 days is an excellent way to think and frame a leaders foray into a new position. 

The term the ‘First 100 days’ came into our vocabulary from a radio address from the American President Franklin J. Roosevelt on July 24th, 1933. Roosevelt came into the Presidency taken over a nation reeling from the effects of the great depression.

The stock market had dropped 85%, and banks had collapsed throughout America. Those banks that remained were teetering on collapse. People lost their jobs, life savings and farms foreclosed. Unemployment was running at around 25%. Men queued in food queues for a bit of bread and soup. The moral of the Nation was at an all-time low.

FDR made his first 100 days count. Here are ten tips for how to embrace your new role and make the most of the first 100 days.

1) Set the right tone

Tone setting is one of the greatest things you can do at the start of your new tenure.

 FDR his opening address instils in the despondent crowd hope and courage. He also outlines what they can expect from him as a leader. Here are his opening lines.

“I am certain that my fellow Americans expect that on my induction into the Presidency I will address them with a candor and a decision which the present situation of our Nation impels. This is preeminently the time to speak the truth, the whole truth, frankly and boldly. Nor need we shrink from honestly facing conditions in our country today. This great Nation will endure as it has endured, will revive and will prosper. So, first of all, let me assert my firm belief that the only thing we have to fear is fear itself–nameless, unreasoning, unjustified terror which paralyses needed efforts to convert retreat into advance. In every dark hour of our national life a leadership of frankness and vigor has met with that understanding and support of the people themselves which is essential to victory.”

2) Understand the purpose of being hired

It might not be as evident as it appears. Chances are it might not have been explicitly stated in the interview process. But this is crucial for your success. Who hired you, and why did they choose you? Is it to bring change? Steady the ship? Disrupt? Restructure? Improve the numbers? Pioneer? Develop new markets? Turn it around? Improve culture? Develop talent? You might meet your KPI’s and still miss the mark if you do not understand this.

3) Survey the walls

There is an old Hebrew bible story about Nehemiah, a high Jewish official in the Persian courts who pulls together a working party to rebuild the walls of Jerusalem in 5 BC. When he arrives at the site rather than getting straight down to business he spends time at night walking around the walls and surveying the damage.

Whether you believe the integrity of the account does not matter as much as the principle. Check things out with your own eyes, do not depend on reports alone. Don’t assume. Get to the front line. Get past the gatekeepers and middle managers and listen to those doing the work. If your business is in manufacturing, see your factories and talk to those on the shop floor. If it is in retail, get out to your regional stores. Listen to those most distant from your senior leadership team, your contact centre staff, sales staff, get out and about and listen.

 Do staff surveys, set up an email for honest feedback.

One of the frameworks for examining the work is to use the KISS model.

Keep – What do we need to keep doing? In other words, what is already working well?

Improve – What needs tweaking? Perhaps it’s already good but could be significant and needs more heat.

Stop – What isn’t working? What might need killing off? 

Start – What are some things we could add? 

4) Connect with your team

Be humble. This team have done some mileage for this organisation. They could be your greatest asset or your worst nightmare, depending on how you build. You need them, their insights and talents. You need them on board with you. They need to hear your heart. Set up regular meetings with them, take them out for coffee one on ones or take them on trips with you. The informal interactions matter as much, perhaps even more than the formal.

They need to know that you are safe, trustworthy and competent. 

5) Set the Culture

From day one, you get to set the culture. Culture takes time. You can’t administer your way into a new culture; it has to be lead. You lead people into a new culture. It is primarily transmitted through relationship. You set the culture you want with your senior team. You model it to them. They then model it to their teams, so on and so forth. It’s not rocket science, but it does take time, and it does take being intentional and consistent.

6) Strategically Renovate 

When you have done your homework, you will become aware of the things that need changing. I have four pieces of advice on this.

1 – Do the easy stuff that affects most people as quickly as you can. Get some early feel-good wins under your belt.

2 – Do the tough hidden stuff that is vital for the long term success of the organisation. It isn’t sexy, but it is essential, and if you do it right, it will set the organisation up for years to come. You will know what this is. It will be your most challenging but satisfying work and will be the thing in later years that you will be most proud.

3 – Renovate the other rooms, one at a time. Strategically you will know which ones matter first. 

7) Strategically ignore

Listen, take note, but act on strategic priorities, not on pressure. Often in renovation work, there will be a lot of advocacy and a lot of noise. The loudest does not always mean it should be first. Good leaders are comfortable with things being messy on the margins. Sometimes the best strategy is to open the room, take a good look, acknowledge what needs doing, and then shut the door until you are ready to fix it.

8) Start to build your team for the future

At some point in the first 100 days, it will become apparent to you that there are some missing skillsets and human talent in your group. You will, in this phase, begin to headhunt and recruit additional expertise to help your organisation go to the next level. Bringing new talent onboard is crucial but also has a measure of risk in the early stages of your tenure. These five ‘C’s’ should help you hire wisely. 

Cultural Fit – They will not only fit in but will amplify the culture you are trying to build.

Competence – They will have both technical expertise and soft skills to get the job done well.

Character – They are trustworthy.

Chemistry – They are likeable and more importantly, you like them.

Capacity – They have the required energy this next season will need.

9) Communicate often and be visible

All leaders should be visible and communicate frequently and in times of transition even more. 

Have a communication strategy that ensures your voice and visibility reaches the far corners of the organisation. Ensure you communicate directly, and staff can communicate to you directly without gatekeepers or fear. 

Listening will be your greatest asset in the first 100 days and information, your best ally.

Don’t resent meetings, you should have lots of them in your first 100 days, and they will be a part of your new reality. Meetings are the work of leadership. They are essential for decision making, communicating, brainstorming, transmitting culture and information sharing. 

10) Set the pace

In his first 100 days of office, President Roosevelt urgently passed 15 pieces of legislation to help America recover from the great depression. He set a blistering pace. 

You, as the leader, need to keep an eye on the pace you set. Over time there will be times to sprint, times to jog, times to catch one’s breath. You will get a feel for the speed that is required, but in the first 100 days, you want to set a pace which has some quickness.

G. M Brock © 2020 

Graeme M. Brock is Director of Just Leadership a New Zealand based leadership development company which offers bespoke leadership training solutions and consultancy for organisations and executive coaching for individuals. justleadership.co.nz You can reach out to him at info@justleadership.co.nz 

The post Ten Things Wise Leaders Do in the First 100 Days appeared first on Just Leadership.

There are two ways we can lead our staff. We can lead our team like a magician or lead our staff like a table tennis coach.

One style is disempowering, and one is empowering. One form will produce followers with little initiative, and one will produce leaders who think. 

The Magician

Let me explain.

The magician style of leadership is the default position of many of us. Our staff come to us with problems they want us to solve. 

Like a magician they want us to pull a rabbit out of the hat. To provide the answers, come up with the solution. 

The issues might be significant issues they might be small issues, they may even be trivial, but the magician leader will begrudgingly welcome them all.

Because of this, the magician leader’s day is one of the constant interruptions of team members putting in requests and asking for solutions.

As leaders, we are often well paid, or at least in most cases, paid more than their staff, so we feel an obligation to be spectacular. To come up with the answers. Even when we don’t have the answers, our sense of responsibility in our role and our ego compels us to keep pulling rabbits out of the hat. 

We might resent the constant interruptions, but if we are honest, our egos are feed, the hierarchy remains firmly in entrenched, and our expert power established once again.

Why do we often lead like this?

There are many reasons, but here are some common ones.

1. It is easier and quicker to provide the solution than it is put it back into their court.
2. It feels safe. At least if we are wrong, we are to blame.
3. We trust ourselves and our abilities more than the person.
4. It is the way leadership we have seen leadership modelled to us.
5. It is quick and efficient. 
6. It feeds our ego.
7. It justifies our position and our pay scale and also them and theirs.
8. Quality control.

The Challenges of The Magician  

There are several problems with this style of leadership.

The first problem with this style of leadership is it doesn’t create a culture of leadership. It creates a culture of leader and subordinates. Ultimately if you want a great business or organisation, you want leadership across the organisation. You want a team of leaders who own the work and wrestle with the problems themselves. 

In the magician style of leadership, you create a lasting parent-child relationship where the child never has to grow up in their role fully. They don’t have to own their work, and you remain the parent firmly in control.

The parent role is safe as a leader. You own the work, and your workers implement your work. To have them step away from the child role and into the parental role is risky. It means you have to let go of control. It requires you to share power. It also means allowing things to be done differently from how you would do them. It means the potential for failure, mistakes and stuff-ups. 

Leadership guru Peter Block said

“It’s the misuse of our power to take responsibility for solving problems that belong to others.” 

The other issue associated with always providing the answers is you’re just not that good. No matter how skilled you are, how deep your knowledge, and how wise you are sooner or later you are going to fudge on the issue and find you have no rabbits in the hat.

The magician leader creates a dependency where the child worker never really has to grows up. The child/work can turn up to work and leave their best at home. 

The child/worker in this environment never grows, feels no purpose in work and will leave their best efforts lying inside of themselves. They will die a bit inside each day, dreaming of work which makes them come alive.

The child/worker has also bought into this dysfunctional relationship. They have helped create this co-dependent relationship. The Magician needs them to justify their position and ego, and the child/worker needs the Magician to avoid the pain of growing and taking full responsibility.

 The child/worker has a leader who will do the work for them, who will make the tough decisions, carry the weight and wrestle with the problems. They can ‘pass the buck to them’, move the problem ‘up the food chain’ shift responsibility and ownership away from themselves.

So the magician leader is guilty of usurping the responsibly of others in their leadership style, and the child/worker is guilty of acceding their sovereignty for getting the leader to do their work. 

Whole organisations and policies in workplaces can strengthen this dysfunction. 

 There are, however, different ways to lead, ways which grow your team and allow them to be sovereign in their work—genuine ways to empower. 

The Table Tennis Coach

One of these ways is simply refuse to be the Magician, instead deliberately choose to operate out of a different leadership style. 

Instead of the Magician, you could adopt the style of the table tennis coach. It is a coaching style where the leader’s goal is to develop the team and to see leadership grown.

Leadership starts with owning the work. We develop leadership in our teams by helping them to have ownership of the work.  

The table tennis coach has in the core of their being, a desire to grow the person. Their ego is in check. They have no desire to be spectacular, to show them what they know, their purpose is to develop the skills of the player.

The coach helps as much as is necessary, careful not to usurp the work, provide the answers, or to micromanage. 

One technique to practice as a leader is to practice hitting the work problem squarely back over the net to the player. 

Let me show you how it works.

The child/worker comes into your office with a problem. It might look a little like this.

 Child/Worker: “Boss, so and so has happened, what should we do about this?”

The Magician in you might want to pull the rabbit from the hat at this moment.  

 Magician: “Do this and this, and then this.”

Child/worker: “Thanks, boss.”

Problem solved, time saved back to your work.

But not this time.

You realise that this is a learning opportunity, a growth moment—a chance for them to own the work and thus own leadership.

Instead, you adopt the stance of the table tennis coach.

You hit the ball squarely back into their court.

You do this by simply putting it back on them – framed as a question.

Child/Worker: “Boss, so and so has happened, what should I do about this?”

 Table Tennis Coach: “Yes, that’s tricky. What do you think you could do about it?

Child/Worker: “I think I could, x, y and z?”

Table Tennis Coach: “Sounds good to me, how does that sound to you?”

Child/Worker: “Yeah good.”

They leave your office owning the work, more confident in their ability. They move from being the child/worker to embracing leadership. 

Now in many cases, it will not be that simple. The parent/child relationship will be firmly entrenched in the organisation and have both you and them in its grip. 

It might take a while for;

1. You to let go of control.
2. Them to trust the culture that you are building, they can fail and not be hauled over the coals later.
3. They can trust their insights, skills, knowledge and wisdom to come up with workable solutions.
4. To bring their brains and creativity to work.
5. To trust, they can own the work and are free to make decisions.

It also might take a while in each conversation to hit the ball back over the net. In other words, some days, you need to be prepared for a long rally.

In this game of table tennis, we keep hitting the problem back over the net through questions.

It might look something like this. 

Child/worker: “Boss, so and so has happened, what should I do about this?”

Table Tennis Coach: “Yes, that’s tricky. What do you think you could do about it?”

Child/worker: “I have no idea. It is hard one. What do you think?”

Table Tennis Coach: “Yes, it is a bit of a sticky one. Why don’t you spend a bit of time brainstorming a couple of options? Pick the one you feel most comfortable with and whatever you decide I have your back. If you feel you need to check on again, you can, but you don’t need to. You got this.”

That’s one approach a slam back over the net squarely into their court where they are empowered to think of solutions, make a decision, and you have given them assurance it is safe, and you trust their competence. 

Perhaps the person is new in the role, and so they need a bit more guidance. As a leader, you still refuse to become the Magician and choose to remain as the table-tennis coach. You can come alongside them a bit more, not doing it for them. Rather than provide the answers, you might do some joint brainstorming or offer a menu of possible options and get them to choose the one that they think best suits the solution.

Here are some questions to have in your toolbox to help. It can be beneficial to memorise a handful as a manager, so you don’t have to scramble on the spot.

1 – “What can you do about this?”

2- “What is the one thing that matters most in this?”

3 – “What might you need to do right now? And next?

4. – “How can you get from here to there?”

5. “And what else?”

It may make sense at one level to be Magician. It can feel safe, it is familiar, and it can be quicker. The table tennis coach requires us to slow things down, to be more intentional, not to be so ready to offer solutions or to be directive. This style can be frustrating for both them and us. The results are slower, and we don’t get the instant dopamine hit that comes with providing the answers so quickly and readily. Yet the dividends long term are enormous. Little by little, we get our teams to own the work, and as they own the work, the more they lead, bringing their full selves to the workplace. 

Copyright  G. M Brock © 2020 

The post Lessons in Leadership – The Danger of being a Magician appeared first on Just Leadership.

They later became a key part of Catholic Christianity, being used in confession, devotional aids, sermons, literature and the arts. The original 7 deadly sins in English are; pride, greed, lust, envy, gluttony, wrath and sloth. They were seen as the chief sins that people struggle with and if left unchecked give birth to other weakness. I could have just used the original list as they to can screw up leaders and the organisations they lead but instead, I wanted to list things, I think leaders are subtly susceptible to from my 20 plus years of being a leadership practitioner.

Hubris

Hubris means excessive pride or arrogance. It originally comes from Ancient Greece and

conveyed the idea of a person overstepping the mark, of acting godlike and thus breaking divine order. In other words, thinking of themselves more highly than they ought. These hubris thoughts, would lead to foolish action and result in shame. The idea of pride coming before a fall was a theme throughout Greek Tragedy.

These thoughts of hubris emerge in us often because of a successful track record of winning and achievement. Leaders are particularly susceptible to them because they are

achievers and have built track records of success. It is fuelled by good press, perks of the job, privilege, sycophants and favourable conditions. These can all lead to a puffed-up view of ourselves, our abilities and lead us to overstep the mark.

The former executives of Enron, Jeff Skilling and Ken Lay who were convicted on various charges of fraud, conspiracy and insider trading were part of one of the largest bankruptcies of all time, estimated at 23 billion dollars in liabilities.

“Our performance has never been stronger; our business model has never been more robust; our growth has never been more certain; and most importantly, we have never had a better nor deeper pool of talent throughout the company,” Lay said in an email to a colleague weeks prior to the collapse.`

Jeff Skilling had once boasted that all he had known was success, hence in part revealing the genesis of his hubris.

Enron failed for a number of well-documented reasons but one was the culture of hubris that had been created at the executive table where questions regarding unusual accounting methodologies were ignored, a belief of invincibility, extravagance, and that they were building a ‘new economy’, one that defied the rules of the old. Unfortunately cash flow and operating ethically still matter as they found out.

In history we see examples of Hubris with Napoleon in 1812 invading Russia to get Emperor Alexander 1 to bow the knee, he went in with 600,000 men and came back with around 100,000, losing his army and empire. Hitler’s hubris also included a failed Russian campaign that involved him not listening to his generals and taking over military planning even though he had little experience. We see Hubris in sports with the Lance Armstrong doping scandal, unfortunately, one among many flawed athletes.

What are some of the signs of hubris?

Playing loose with rules/policies/ ethics as if they don’t apply to them or this situation. Attacking perceived threats aggressively.

Recruiting and building a team of insiders who all think the same and reinforce the hubristic view. Refusing to listen to contrary opinion or outside advice.

The need to display symbols of success. A win at any costs mentality.

Language is of superiority.

In Ancient Rome if a general had a particularly successful military campaign, the Senate might grant a “Triumph”, a march through the centre of Rome. A “Triumph” was a glorious occasion often followed by a circus with the battles being reenacted.The march would have been a sight to behold with musicians, colourful banners, the general would ride a

high sided chariot pulled by four horses, dressed in royal colours and covered with red paint depicting the gods of Jupiter and Mars. He would be followed by soldiers in their regalia, animals captured in the lands conquered, conquered generals and other slaves, as well as the plunder of war. The crowds would line the streets and cheer. In the midst of all of this, a slave would be behind the general holding a golden crown over his head whispering in his ear “Respice post te, hominem memento te.” “Look behind you, and remember that you are but human.” And who were behind him? The soldiers who fought hard to win the battles and the conquered generals. Here was a visual reminder to keep his pride in check. His success firstly has not been due to him alone but to his army, perhaps his superior technology of warfare, and to other factors. Likewise, by looking behind he sees the conquered generals and is struck with the sobering thought, if things had not been favourable it could have been he in chains.

The antidote for Hubris is humility, having a right view of ourselves and our current reality.

Perfectionism

Excellence is doing the best you can, with the resources you have available, in a suitable time frame, to get the job done. Perfectionism is abusing the same resources, in an attempt to quiet the voice of insecurity.

They can both look the same but they come from very different heart motives. One is stewardship while the other is squandering.

Version 1.0 is often good enough and fixes, updates and patches can be made along the way if needs are.

The antidote to perfectionism is stewardship.

Impatience

“A moment of patience can prevent a great disaster and a moment of impatience can ruin a whole life.” Chinese Proverb

We live in a fast-paced world, where leaders are prized who can make decisions quickly and under pressure Agility, responsiveness to market and the ability to turn on a dime are all desirable in our time and age but need to be married to wisdom and long-term strategic thinking.

A Pew Research poll exploring the internet and American linked peoples hyper-connectivity to technology to an ‘increase in self -gratification and a loss of patience’.

The impatience I touch on here is not the mild annoyance or peevishness with delays or being inconvenienced. We all suffer these. It’s more a ‘chronic impatience’,

Impatience in leadership can cause leaders to focus on projects that will have an immediate payoff, quick turn around and not invest themselves into those activities that will outlast them and ultimately leave the organisation in better shape years down the track.

I liken leadership to renovating a house, an impatient leader will focus on those tasks that are easiest and have the quickest payoff. Perhaps decorate the living areas, create a beautiful space, a new lick of paint, some new drapes. There will be deep satisfaction in getting this done, others will notice, it will look good and is easy to point to. The wise leader, however, thinks long term and focuses on the longevity and sustainability of the building. It’s often those parts of the building that are hidden from view, and far from sexy.

The wiring, the foundations, the roof. They are tasks that might not be glamorous, nor easy to point to but ultimately they mean the building will keep standing.

A large national organisation constantly needed middle managers, so they spent large amounts of money hiring a recruitment company to attract talent both in the domestic market and the overseas market. This at times had varying degrees of success however the real human resource issue needs in the organisation were ignored because it required a long-term strategic approach willing to explore without blame the culture of the organisation, explore the root causes of poor middle management retention and develop pathways of recognising leadership talent in the organisation and creating a clear pathway to recruit from within the ranks.

The antidote to impatience in leadership is to discipline one’s thinking to think through the lens of medium-term and long term strategic thinking.

Entitlement

Entitlement can kick in because we feel owed. We have ‘earned this’, ‘deserve this’. It can occur when we act like owners rather than stewards. Perhaps we have been there for a long time, perhaps we feel slighted, or perhaps we think we have finally arrived.

One of my favourite books on leadership was written by Robert Townsend, former Avis

CEO, ‘Up the Organisation.” In the book, he challenges the culture of entitlement.

“True leadership must be for the benefit of the followers not the enrichment of the leaders.” Robert Townsend.

Several years ago, I had the unfortunate incident of finding myself seated next to a politician on a plane flight. The way he treated the flight attendant was embarrassing, He was rude, with no “please” or “thank you”, he did not respond to me when I greeted him but merely grunted. He oozed arrogance and an air of superiority. It was ugly to observe and I suspect he was oblivious to his behaviour. I thought, “I bet if your mother was here she would give you a clip around the ears and remind you of who you really are.”

Leaders are all susceptible to a sense of entitlement, most have worked hard to get where they are, it doesn’t take long to get used to the perks that come with the job, sitting at the pointy end of the plane, nice hotels, an expense account, a share option, company car, the lifestyle. Leaders can focus on these benefits rather than stewarding the work they have been entrusted with.

Leadership by its very nature is the complete opposite of entitlement, its entrustment, which requires times of self-sacrifice for the sake of the wider mission.

Signs of entitlement may include some of the following; A focus on rights over responsibilities.

Think what is in their personal best interests rather than the best interests of the organisation. Think rules, policies and procedures no longer apply to them, although they see them still applying to their teams.

Expects the benefits of an owner without the costs of an owner

A sense of anger if treated slightly less than one is accustomed to. insistence on titles.

Insistence on perks. Hypersensitivity.

Hostility to newcomers and anyone seen as a threat to their privilege.

Accepting pay raises and bonuses even when the organisation is underperforming, and/or staff are not being compensated adequately or fairly.

The antidote of entitlement is service. Servant leaders are interested in what is best for the organisation, their staff and their clients as opposed to self-interest.

Cowardice

Leadership by its nature requires courage. It takes courage to steer the ship through storms, to steer it towards its desired future. It takes courage to look at the issues no matter how bad, to face reality, to change, to confront and to make decisions.

Good leaders learn to live with the uncomfortable pit of fear in their stomach, they have learnt to accept it as a normal part of leadership and by choosing to recognise it as normal, disempower the feeling.

It reminds of the story about Martin the Luther the Monk who it was said, was awoken one night in his sleep to see the devil at the end of his bed. Luther took one look at the devil and said, “Oh it is only you.” Then went back to sleep.

The antidote to cowardice is making friends with fear.

Over-Optimism

Psychologists will tell you there is a lot of benefits to being a “cup half full” type of person. The person who is optimistic and positive has a better chance of overcoming obstacles, greater resilience and a greater chance of achieving the outcomes in life they want. Good leaders are full of optimism about the organisation and the people they have the honour of leading.

However good leaders also have to put on their glasses that are able to critically think through a situation, to ask hard and at times uncomfortable questions, to hope for the best but plan for the worse.

I have been guilty of over-optimism in a role, I was asked to oversee a subsidiary that had 13 years of history and had been running at a loss for all of those years, running a significant budget deficit. In examining the work, I fell in love with it as I witnessed first hand the power of good it could do in making people’s lives better. I was tasked with setting up its own governance and to make it financially sustainable, changing the funding model from a patronage model to one reliant on individual donors. To cut a long story short, we failed. I had thought the changes we made to make the model more cost-effective would also make it an attractive proposition to funders, but we had underestimated the time needed to bed in the change, lacked skill sets in certain key areas, and failed to understand the changing market within the funding space. In the end, we ran out of runway and ended up closing the organisation down. We had been over-optimistic that we could succeed with less resource, where an organisation that had run it for 13 years with a budget deficit had also tried and failed. I had been blinded by my over-optimism.

The owners and captain of the Titanic were over-optimistic, resulting in having on board only enough lifeboats for half of their passengers.

The antidote to over-optimism is to develop critical thinking.

Acquiescing

To ‘acquiesce’, has some of the following words and phrases associated with it; ‘to submit or comply silently’, to ‘cave in’, ‘yield’, ‘bend’, ‘capitulate’, ‘accede’.

I could go on but you get the idea. The qualities denote something of passivity. As a leader, you are appointed and paid to lead.

You do no one any good by being passive. Over many years I have sat in governance meetings in a wide variety of setting, at times I have been amazed by people who are on boards who occupy a seat but are passive in their roles, they say little or nothing at all, they always agree with the majority. I have pulled several aside at times and told them,

“You are not doing the organisation a favour by being silent, you have been invited to sit at this table because of your experience, skills and much-needed viewpoint.”

Still, other times I have seen leaders allow others to run roughshod over their sphere of leadership, trampling over their role and responsibilities and creating carnage along the ways.

If you don’t want to lead, stand down, step aside and do something you want to do. If you do want to lead but find yourself acting passively and notice signs of acquiescing in you then I would suggest the following.

Find your voice. I don’t’ care how, but leadership requires a voice.

Understand your role, responsibilities and sphere of governance and the decisions that are yours to make. You might find the following metaphor helpful. If you liken your sphere/role to that of a property. Ask yourself the following. Where are the boundaries of the property? Who do I share a fence line with? What are decisions solely mine to make? What

decisions are not mine to make? What decisions are to be made jointly? What decisions are not made by me but influence my property, what can I do about that to ensure good decisions are made? What property rights do I have? What are my responsibilities? How do I leave the property in a better state than how I found it? You get the idea.

Back yourself, your knowledge, ideas, skill set and ideas. Believe in your position and idea until someone offers a genuinely better alternative.

So there you go, my 7 deadly sins of leadership; Hubris, perfectionism, impatience, entitlement, cowardice, over-optimism and acquiescing. They are not as dramatic as the original 7 deadly sins nor lead inspire art or fuel the imagination like Dante’s “Inferno” but hopefully it might help you to do a quick self-audit and cause you to keep leading out of excellence and wisdom.

© 2019 G M Brock

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One critical skill that leaders and business owners need to learn to do well is the ability to have courageous conversations. 

The conversation matters because the work is important, how you have the conversation matters, because of the worth of the person. 

Leadership is a lot like being a gardener, and the work we do is a lot like a garden. The mission of the gardener if you like is to ensure the garden is as beautiful and fruitful as it can be. 

Good leaders take the raw materials at their disposal and seek to transform them into something extraordinary. 

Gardening like leadership requires hard work, design, planning, strategy, structure and of course, the right tools and knowledge. 

Pleasant gardens do not happen by chance. The natural state of the garden is chaos and weeds and if left untended resorts to that state relatively quickly. 

The Management guru Peter Drucker stated this well;

“Only three things happen naturally in organisations; friction, confusion and underperformance, everything else takes leadership.” 

Workplaces are a lot like gardens. They need the intentionality and care of a good gardener. 

Good gardeners keep on top of the weeds. Gardners realise that if they do not regularly weed the garden, the garden soon gets overrun with weeds. A garden full of weeds affects the gardens ability to be fruitful and ensures more work in the long run for the gardener.

Good leaders address issues as soon as practicably possible. They do not let the problems go unattended.

Some leaders avoid the weeds in the early stages. There may be many reasons for this; it might be because of fear and the desire to avoid conflict. It might be because they lack clarity as to the weight of the issue and so they think it best to err on the side of caution. Or it might be something they put in the too hard basket. 

 The problem with the avoidance strategy is, it does not work. It makes things worse. Ignoring the weeds only allows them to grow.  

Other leaders deal with things quickly. They have the courage and address performance issues as soon as they come up. However, they may overreact or be somewhat brutal in their delivery. 

These leaders realise performance issues need to be addressed quickly but lack the skill and tools to do it well. 

So ignoring the weeds is not an option, nor is being hasty and over-enthusiastic in our weeding attempts. 

The wise gardener realises there will always be some weeds in the garden. They recognise it is the very nature of the garden. Good leaders don’t look for perfection; they look for progression. 

The wise gardener is timely in addressing the weeds, and they are intentional in their approach. 

So how should a leader address the weeds? How should they approach courageous conversations? 

Let me share one standard model and five typical approaches that many leaders use. I will describe them and the problems associated with each one and the lasting result it can have.Lastly, I will offer a model I have devised which is practical and straightforward.

First, the model. ‘The Sandwich Technique’.

One of the standard techniques used by many is the ‘sandwich technique’. The model has been in the people helping space for decades, and managers, coaches, therapists and parents use it.

It has a few basic variations but goes something like this;

The first layer of bread

Say something positive – Show empathy, appreciation, warmth, praise.

Sandwich Filling

Tell them what the performance issue is, how it is affecting you or the business and what you would like them to do about it.

The top layer of bread

Leave them with a warm fuzzy, empathy and encouragement.

There are several problems with this model. The first is it doesn’t work that well. 

Techniques often don’t work whether they be in sales or leadership and generally not with people. People can feel manipulated with this technique and will only hear the critique and not the praise. The empathy and praise parts of the sandwich can also come across as insincere and thus lessen their respect for you as a manager. 

The other issue with this technique is it can confuse the issue. The person leaves the conversation somewhat confused. “Am I being praised? Am I being reprimanded? Is this person for me or against me?” It can raise more issues than what it seeks to solve.

The result of this technique is a loss of trust.

Let’s look now at five different styles leaders might take with courageous conversations.

The first one, I will call the “You first approach”. In this approach, the leader asks the subordinate how they think they are going? Or how they felt about the issue at hand? While it is essential to seek to understand another person’s position, when this is the starting point,  a person will often get defensive, deny, blame, justify or minimise. These are all human ways of responding when we feel we are under attack. 

This method makes it all the harder for the leader in addressing the issue. Now they have to try and fight their way through the defensive positions to get the message through.

The result of this style is defensiveness.

The second method is what I call the “wiffle waffle approach”. It is somewhat ad-hoc in style and often involves a long chat, skirting around the real issues, lack of clarity as to what needs to change and copious amounts of chat. It leaves all participants unsure what the point of the conversation was. 

The result is confusion.

A third typical approach is a leader who makes it personal. We will call this the “Personal attack approach.” Rather than address the problem, they confuse the issue by making the person the problem. The person’s competency, character or personality are brought into question. This approach leaves the issue unaddressed and dehumanises the person.

The result of this style is shame.

The fourth style is what I call the “comforter style”. This leader is often high on mercy, hates confrontation and wants peace at all costs. In their desire to not offend or hurt the person, they praise them and empathise with them so much the person leaves the conversation thinking there is nothing wrong at all. 

This leader uses only two parts of the sandwich technique, all loaf and no filling. It is almost comedic. The person in this scenario can leave the meeting thinking they are about to be promoted or given a raise, and the leader thinking they have done a great job in addressing the issue. 

The result of this style is confusion.

The fifth and final method that some leaders use is what I call the “bullish technique”. Like bulls on heat, they rush into the situation full of bluster and aggression. They deliver the message with brutal force and intensity. The recipient has no confusion as to what the issue is. Or what they need to do to change; however, the style of delivery does potential damage to the receiver and harms the relationship.

The result of this style is resentment. 

Let me offer an alternate model that many of those I have taught and coached have found practical and straightforward. 

The model I have devised is called the “ICE model.” 

Think of a big block of ice whenever you need to have a courageous conversation, and it will remind you of this model. 

I – Intent 

The intent is about your inner motives for the conversation. As a good leader, the purpose of your leadership is twofold. To care passionately about your work and to care pastorally for your team. The intent for your work drives you to have challenging conversations as the work and mission matters. You do not have the luxury of leaving it unaddressed or ignoring it. Secondly, because you care for your team and those who work for you, you want their dignity kept, you want them to flourish and want the best for them. 

 The leader has the conversation because the work matters.  How they have the conversation also matters because of the person. 

If you do not have this as your intent and heart motivate then whatever you do will not land as well as you had hoped. This motive is the bedrock of this model and should be the bedrock for any leader and business owner. 

It works best when the culture you have built or is building is one of trust and where openness has become the norm.

As a leader, your words should carry weight because you praise good work, want the best for your team and set achievable standards. You do not use words as devices to flatter, manipulate or intimidate. You do not play games, withhold essential information or are flippant with your words. In other words, your words hold weight because you use them well. You are trusted because you care for your team and the work.

C – Clear & Concise

Do not do this off the cuff or in an ad-hoc way. You are not that good. You will end up defaulting to one of the five styles mentioned above or at best, saying too much.

Get a piece of paper or a card and get crystal clear as to what the actual issue is. Write it out in a sentence or two. Then write another sentence as to why it is an issue. 

Finally, write a sentence of your expectations and next steps. Keep it short and straightforward. 

When you have the conversation, this will keep you on point and keep it concise. Keep to the subject. Do not raise past matters; do not make it personal; do not beautify it, do not soften it. Deliver the issue matter of factly. Like a postal worker delivering the mail deliver the content without fuss. Their response is not your concern. Your responsibility as a leader is to give it. 

Of course, as a good leader, you will have good EQ and the ability to empathise, but you will not use this as a technique, nor will you soften what needs to be said. Your empathy in times like this is best to be non-reactive-empathy. The ability to sit with the person, deliver the message and not rescue them from the effects of the content. 

As a good leader, you will, of course, care for them, understand what it is like to be in their shoes. You will do what you can in your leadership capacity to help them move on from this where appropriate.

E – Emotion  

Most of us do not find courageous conversations pleasant. It is why they named ‘courageous conversations’ because they take courage. It is also why some prefer to use the term ‘crucial conversations’. 

It is imperative to deal with your own emotions in this. 

Dealing with your emotional state ensures they do not cloud the message nor interfere with the delivery.

Being calm also defuses heat. If the recipient reacts, you remain calm. Calmness defuses anger. 

Remember the word image, be cool as ICE, not cold, but cool under pressure. Deliver it without passion, be clear, be concise and stay calm.

The act of clarifying the issue on a piece of paper will help you look at it objectively. It also means you have a cooling-off period if needs be between the incident and the conversation. 

Courageous conversations are never easy, and the outcomes never assured. However, if you follow this model by having good intentions, are clear on the issue,  concise in the delivery and are able to remain calm throughout the process, you give yourself the best chance for good outcomes.

Note: Here is a small challenge. Many of us read and don’t apply. I want to encourage you to have a bias toward action. Step 1 – Think of a courageous conversation that you need to have in the next week. Step 2 – Follow my ICE model. Step 3 – Have the conversation. Step 4 – Let me know how the model worked for you at info@justleadership.co.nz

Step 5 – Share my article with others you think it might help.

G. M Brock © 2020

Graeme M. Brock is Director of Just Leadership a New Zealand based leadership development company which offers bespoke leadership training solutions and consultancy for organisations and executive coaching for individuals. justleadership.co.nz

The post How to Have Courageous Conversations – A Practical Guide For Leaders appeared first on Just Leadership.

Someone in the senior team one day had a bright idea, he or she had heard it mentioned somewhere or read it in a book, it was important to have organisational values. So they organised a leadership retreat, catered, of course, hired an expensive consultant and then for a number of hours they all brainstorm like a socialist meeting held in the local pub and come up with a few values, one for each participant and one to appease the loudest member.

The consultant massages the words, doing the least amount of work for the most money and then moves on to their next victim.

The group pat themselves on the back for imagining such incredible values and pay the consultant for wording them so pithy. Then the chairperson of the party issues an edict, saying, “these are the values that represent us and we aspire to see more of and will now be outworked immediately on pain of death”. Dutiful district commissioners hang most glorious value statement on the wall, next to the picture of the illustrious leader. Never to be referred to again and soon forgotten.

5 years later someone from the senior team has a bright idea…

Let me tell you a secret. Values only matter if you live them. An organisation that is value led will have their values weaved throughout all they do. It will be in the deep marrow of the organisation and be outworked through peoples fingertips. It will affect strategy, the budget, decision making, hiring and every other aspect of the business. Good leaders will call value violations in team members, they will seek to live these values out personally and will bang on about them until everyone is sick of them. Like personal integrity, a value-driven organisation will have congruence with what they say they value and what they actually do.

© 2019 G M Brock

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Eventually, it happens to us all, life doesn’t go as we planned. Suffering in one shape or form is all our common human experience. But what do we do when life doesn’t go according to plan? Is there a roadmap to help us get back on track and bring back a sense of peace and equilibrium to our lives?

While each of our experiences and personalities is unique I would like to suggest 5 keys to help navigate tough times.

1.Know this season will not last

If we picture our life like a story being written, then we can picture the present season as merely a chapter of the book, with the best bits still to be written. We as authors still can determine the heroes journey and how the story unfolds. We might not be able to change the circumstances but we can determine our response.The best stories have a struggle, suffering, obstacles in the way of the hero before they overcome and triumph. You will come through this chapter, yes it might scar you, change you and hurt like nothing else you experience but it can also transform you.

“If you are going through hell, keep going.” Winston Churchill

2.Be vulnerable

In the business world vulnerability is not a trait that we often see as a strength but it is a mature human response and vital in times of pain. Most don’t deserve to know or for that matter want to know, so don’t go posting it on Facebook, but the trusted few do. Tell others you explicitly trust what you are experiencing. In sharing our current experience it allows others to come to our aid and the act of being vulnerable allows the journey of transformation to begin in our hearts and minds.

3.Go easy on yourself

Give yourself time to heal and to process what has occurred. This is not a time to ‘tough it out’, ‘present a stiff upper lip’ or ‘man up’, or ‘hold it together’. It will take time to come through trauma, you can’t rush it.

The Greeks had two concepts of time, ‘Chronos time’ and ‘Kairos time’. ‘Chronos’ is where we get the idea of chronologically, it is ordered time, something measurable. We are used to measuring our lives in hours and expect things to happen quickly. “Why does this still hurt?” You might feel a sense of guilt that this still has a hold on you, effects you. The problem is your thinking is ‘Chronos time’. ‘Kairos time’ is about the ‘right time’. It’s the time when the Greek gods intervened. It has a mysterious and not easily quantifiable element

to it. Not good for those of us who like to measure results and have spreadsheets but the Greeks were on to something. Sometimes things change when the time is right. You can’t make it happen, you can’t control it, you simply have to be patient in your suffering and

pain until the time is right. There will come a time when things will come back into focus and a sense of equilibrium will come again.

4.Face the pain and feel the pain

Don’t cover it up, don’t avoid it, don’t run from it, face it. Don’t try to rush from this place just because of the unbearable feelings it dredges up. Allow yourself to feel the full reality of what has occurred. Survey the boundaries of what has just happened and be courageous enough to face it and feel it. Don’t affirm your way our of it, deny it or ignore it. Just let yourself feel the grief, the loss, despair, anger, disappointment or whatever combination of emotional cocktail that is your current reality. Drink its dregs. Feel and face is two key elements of emotional healing.

When you honestly face the reality of your situation, only then can you move on to ‘what can be’. Facing ‘what is’ allows you to move forward into what ‘could be’.

Too many want to move on to what is next, before processing what has just happened.

Trauma has a funny way of revisiting in various guises unless we deal with. If need be, seek out professional help, there is no stigma in seeing a therapist and their skill can help you navigate the journey in healthy ways.

5.Learn from the experience

Pleasure and success are often terrible teachers, suffering, and pain, however, can be teachers that transform our humanity like nothing else but only if we are prepared to learn the lessons they bring.

I think of the sufferings of Nelson Mandela and how it shaped the character of a statesman free from bitterness. Frederich Nietzsche the German Philosopher saw the importance of finding meaning in suffering and saw that it could make people stronger. Viktor E. Frankl from his experiences in a German concentration camp saw that humanity could endure incredible suffering and deprivation as long as they were able to see purpose and meaning in the midst of their situation.

“Forces beyond your control can take away everything you possess except one thing, your freedom to choose how you will respond to the situation.” Viktor E. Frankl.

Suffering has a way of refocusing us on what is really important in life. It reveals our false selves, our egos, pride and all manner of things that hide us from our true and essential selves. We can become more empathetic, self-aware and aware of the needs of others. We can learn wisdom, become more creative and in the midst of our misery new mission can be born.

© 2019 G M Brock

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